By Cristian Gorostieta

A recording of this piece by the artist herself:

Entramos a un bosque de espejos y manos sin pena
mi rey. You will leave me and I will forgive you, worship you, papito
like any person with a pulse. Como mi mami y su madre y su mamá
muertas pero despiertas en mí

Geometric gold and emerald necklace me hizo delicada
belonged to Ma’s best friend Marina. Me la ponia
cada día hoping it would bring me closer to mother

Y por ti, mi boca abierta como gata
perdida speaking in capital letters to make
sure I meant what I said. I will leave you with no
words, only the ten songs that saved my life when I was thirteen
and a kiss on your wrinkles quizás— podrás perdonarme?

Pensé extrañarte era igual que muerte until
you became a reoccuring dream haciendo las cositas
of when you were with me. Humming beautiful verses
to repeat them on our most humiliating days

I kneel on rice, to soften that time in the parking lot; mi cabecita on your neck, helado en mis dedos. Ache at the belly, pang on my lower back. Que alegria, que rico reírme contigo

Las flores amarillas se parecen
a Marina who I only recognize through
home-video where she holds me, a tight curl
copia de su mejor amiga Jane

You introduce me to your sweet Hannah
and I’ve already met many like she. Amable
y hermosa, ama igual que mi tía. Sin ti ella no se siente
como una persona. Aprendió de su madre cómo ser una
sombra. Practical enough to mask your stunning energy. Yo soy la dama fiel
Soy la que te pierde y me duele eternamente pero sobrevivo

Carla dibuja algo que me hace
llorar and prepares her needle so we
won’t forget my emotional breakthrough. Me acomodo
feeling pretty as the greatest hand in history
paints me.

Cristian Gorostieta makes homes where she can through written work and people in her life. She aspires to one day live on wheels where she’ll bond with mountains, water, and make make art with people she loves. Cristian is a social worker and is building a juicy collection of written work. She spends a great deal of time singing, crying, and stretching her body like a canvas.